Condescending Barista I Funny Coffee Scented Soy Candle | 9oz
Attention Yuppie Urbanites!
It's time to endure a series of abusive microaggressions en route to our $6 coffees!
And here they are now!
Snide, snooty, and teetering on insanity, your friendly neighborhood barista may be unable to unionize, but app-based therapy sessions have taught them how to unclench their jaws, and for that we will add a 10% gratuity.
You begin to place your order - their eye rolls visible - "How hot? Extra hot?" - and before you're done - they are three steps from the register, cup and sharpie in hand, excited to intentionally misspell your name.
Britney? Epiphany?
Here they're in control - masters of their domain - you their lowly under-caffeinated subjects.
Is the order correct? Close enough.
Is it hot enough? Not really.
But - beyond a gentle stirring in your loins - you feel nothing but appreciation for this ironic emotional detachment, vowing to return again, and again.
Fragrance Profile:
Top Notes: Fresh Espresso
Middle Notes: Steamed Milk
Base Notes: Smooth Vanilla Undertones
Product Details:
- 100% Soy Wax
- 9oz Glass Jar
- 45-50 Hour Burn Time
- Premium Coffee Fragrance
- Clean-Burning Cotton Wick
- Phthalate-Free Formula
- Made in Brooklyn, NY
- Every label features our signature: "This candle was handmade by a gay man, not a multinational corporation with a rainbow logo 30 days out of the year."
The Virgins On Fire Difference:
- Small-Batch Production
- Ethically Sourced Fragrances
- LGBTQ+ and Sober Owned & Operated
Perfect For:
- Coffee Lovers
- Modern Home Decor
- Manic Depressives
- Yuppie Urbanites
- Your Friend Britney
- Unique Gift Giving
- Kitchen & Living Spaces
Burning Guide: Trim wick to 1/4 inch before lighting. First burn should be 2-3 hours for optimal wax pool. Keep away from drafts.
Join the thousands who've discovered Brooklyn's most unapologetically authentic candle brand.
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